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FURNITURE POLISH
Lemon Scented Polish
1 teaspoon lemon oil
2 cups mineral oil
Mix and apply with soft cloth.
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Dark Wood Polish
1 teaspoon olive oil
Juice of one lemon
1 teaspoon brandy or whiskey
1 teaspoon water
Mix and apply with soft cloth. Must be made fresh each time.
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Unscented Polish
3 parts olive oil
1 part vinegar
Mix and apply with soft cloth.
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Oak Furniture Polish
1 quart of beer
1 tablespoon sugar
2 tablespoons beeswax
Boil beer with sugar and beeswax. When cool, wipe mixture on wood, allow to dry and polish with soft cloth.
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Heat Blemish/Scratch Remover
Rub in mayonnaise and wipe off. Buff with clean cloth.
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Water Spot Treatment Polish
Toothpaste (not gel)
Baking soda
Pecan
Apply equal parts toothpaste and baking soda with a soft, damp cloth. Rinse out the cloth and wipe off any residue. When the finish is smooth, buff with a clean soft cloth. Restore color and shine by rubbing the spot with the meat of half a pecan, then buff.
-- Source Unknown
A Freudian Slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
-Unknown
To eliminate odors from disposal,
throw a lemon in it and let it be ground up.
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